March 29, 2010

It’s raining and seems like a lazy day. Church time, family time, rest time.Tea and some chocolate seems to be the best remedy for a melancholic.

What was it like a millennia ago? What it will be like millennia after? And so here I am captured between the past and the future having no knowledge of either passing time in a leisure of peace, comfort and love. Distant from the trouble caused by the outside rain.

Tomorrow will change all of that…



March 26, 2010

People. So precious. So amazing. So unique.

Among other things that I do, I work as an interpreter. I go to medical institutions, to social appointments, to people’s houses and schools. I meet people. I am an introvert  and making long-standing friends from those meetings would be frightening but short acquaintance brings security knowing that we may not see each other after this short meeting.

In times of waiting for a doctor, a teacher, a social worker my clients share the most amazing stories of life. And as I listen I realized that everyone’s life is a story to be heard. They have to be heard or else the collection of great art worth of “Musée du Louvre” would be lost forever.

Time to write

March 24, 2010
I had so many thought and now they are gone. There is only one truth, if you are not pushing forward you are going back. It’s not a plateau, friend. It’s not a plateau. That’s why I think Christianity is so amazing. We all did not push forward, but rather went down. So deep. There was no way and no redemption for us. Until Christ. I somehow managed to be on a top for a while. Somehow I kept my routine and developed a habit and one day it was gone like I didn’t have any strength left. “Push forward, just do it.” Yeah, right. There was no way in me.

I miss writing

March 12, 2010

What had happened to me? I didn’t even visit my blog for days now. Was I mistaken about everything? I thought I wasn’t and yet I am far back from where I started. Way back. What my heart is saying? As I close my eyes and listen, what does my Lord says?


February 19, 2010

It’s quiet now. Everybody is down in their beds after a long day. And so everything is at peace. No excess, all you need is a little room and some fresh air. Clock on the wall measures our sleep by seconds and sometimes some forgotten gadget would start doing something scheduled producing light clicking noise and then suddenly stops. And everything again goes back in slumber. It is finally a time for break.

I wonder

February 15, 2010

I wonder at the Cosmos. Is it all there is? Is there anything outside of Cosmos? I remember a time when I was a small boy thinking about the vastness of the Universe and wondering if it was contained in anything. “If everything is in something”- I thought-“what is our Universe in?” Those thoughts were too big for a little child and they used to scare me and fill my heart with chilling pointlessness.

That is until I found the Answer.

About the Book

February 15, 2010

I dream about writing a book.  I have a name for it; it would be “Back to the USSR”.

I grew up in the Soviet Union, a country that doesn’t exist anymore. I was only 13 when the Soviet Union collapsed so I cannot provide a deep analysis of all the things involved in one’s life in The Former Empire of Evil. But what I can do is describe life through a child’s eyes. The point of the book would be to show some of the downfalls of socialism as I experienced it; but mostly, I hope, it would be a description which would leave conclusions to the reader as much as possible.

How Valuable Are You?

February 12, 2010

Do you know how valuable you are? What is the price tag on you forehead? Do you have one?

Where does the value of your life come from?  Is it important at all? Some may argue there is none but I think for the sake of self-development we need to put aside such thinking. If you have ever watched kids playing with their toys you can understand my point. If a toy has no value in a child’s eyes it’s easily forgotten and the life-span of such a toy is short. But if there is anything important to the child she will take care of it. I don’t think we as adults went too far from this truth and its implication on our self-development. Hard drinkers, drug addicts and many others of such categories have a low self-esteem. You can hear them telling in a smoked-through voice about themselves: “What am I worth? I am worth nothing.”

And they can’t be farther from the truth. I find many reasons why people are priceless and many well-known thinkers offer their thought on it. Consider the words of Carl Sagan from the well-known “Cosmos” series.

“We are a way for the Cosmos to know itself.”
Carl Sagan

What a thought. What does it tell you about yourself or about people around you? That we are the way for Cosmos to communicate! We are unique expressions of its vastness and beauty. And there won’t be another one like you. How valuable does it make you?  Eternally valuable.

Think of yourself as a unique stroke on great painting or a spice that can be discerned by a professional gourmet.

Now what are the things that hold you from holding such a unique and high value of yourself.

  1. Wrong friends and /or important people in our lives.

The simple truth about it is that we become people we hang out with. So if you have friends or important people in your life that put you down, leave them. And if they have a low self-esteem, help them.  If those people are not around, disagree with them.

  1. Un-forgiveness. People hurt us and we hurt others. The things that helped me were first to ask forgiveness from God. I had to do it and it dealt with guilt that was so deeply engraved in my life. Then I had to forgive myself for the things I did to myself and to others. After that I stopped blaming people for the way things went in my life and forgave those who hurt me. And though I didn’t have people around me that I hurt, I think it would be important to ask such people for forgiveness as well.

Those were the two first steps that helped me in a long way of recovery from my old self. And certainly there is more to this topic than described in this article but these two things may help you to start seeing yourself in a different light.

Please remember though, I am not talking about pride here but rather a value of every individual.

Fail. New Beginning

February 12, 2010


Last night was disastrous concerning my routines. Extended family get together, going to bed late and staying in bed way past my usual time to get up.  Now there is much more about the family that I want to describe, emotionally and relationally so I can feel almost justified about breaking my routines. But the truth is a red reminder on my calendar.  What’s missed writing, wake up time, devotional time.

New Beginning.

I like this part. As life goes on we cannot stay in the past but move on with life. Every new day is a new beginning.  Or as I read somewhere: “Your mercies are new every morning”.

So I go on.

I wonder

February 9, 2010

I wonder why “the early bird gets the worm”. 🙂